Relationship Security

Have you ever had someone say to you, “Why are you like that?” Or maybe you’ve asked yourself that question about others. There are reasons for our behaviour. Some of them we don’t understand; some we are not even aware of, and never will be.

In her book, Relationship Security, author Kathleen Price shows us that, along with some other factors, our experiences, even those we have as young children, shape us into the adults we become. They influence our responses to nearly every situation we deal with as we go through life.

Most of us seek a loving, caring relationship in which there is mutual trust. As young adults, we are optimistic about finding the right person who will fulfill that expectation. If we haven’t witnessed an example of a secure bond in our parents’ relationship, marriage may bring disillusionment when we perpetually need to protect ourselves because we don’t feel secure. At the same time, we may discover that we are blaming our partner for faults we don’t want to see in ourselves.

Using her own experiences Ms. Price analyzes how events in her life have affected her relationships. She uses an engaging method of bringing the reader in, alternating the narratives of parts of her life with passages from psychologists and other professionals.

Each chapter features an “insight” section containing the reliable concepts and theories, which she applies not only to her past, but her present challenges. With this understanding, she is better able to let down her defenses and embrace her relationships more fully in a calm, trusting, and optimistic way.

In reading Ms. Price’s book, we can see why some of her early experiences have caused her to react in certain ways as she encounters situations in her adult life. We may be able to identify with many of the conclusions of professionals, and possibly find them helpful in our own daily living.

          In Relationship Security Kathleen Price records her experience growing up in a family in which two committed parents were not able to establish a trusting relationship. The same problem repeats itself in her first marriage as she and her husband grapple with the challenges of parenthood without a secure bond. A divorce and remarriage follow, but this time she and her new husband, who is also disillusioned by a first marriage, are determined not to make the same mistakes again. Both acknowledge they shared the responsibility for the failure of their first marriages, but they don’t yet understand how or why.

          Her book reveals a progression of awareness as the author strives for security and nurturing, not only with her spouse, but her children, siblings, in-laws, and close friends. Each chapter features an “insight” section containing the reliable concepts and theories, which she applies not only to her past, but her present challenges. With this understanding, she is better able to let down her defenses and embrace her relationships more fully in a calm, trusting, and optimistic way.

I was deeply moved by Ms. Price’s autobiographical writings. Her story is bravely told. She faces her shortcomings honestly with a view to discovering why she has made some of the decisions that have shaped her life. Relationship Security is very readable and will give you a lot to think about after you close the book.

You can find this great book at amazon.com

Kathleen Price

Kathleen Price began her professional career as a family life educator and marriage and family therapist. Since her retirement she has published two books, both based on her personal experience. She lives with her husband in Las Cruces, New Mexico and can be reached via her website: www.kathleenprice.org.

The Longest Nine Months

I first shied away from reading this book because I thought it was going to be all about having babies, not my favourite topic. Luckily for me, I did pick up the book, read it, and enjoyed it. It was not all about babies and pregnancies, although this was a significant factor in the novel. It was more about the relationship between Chand and Campbell.

Chand is of East Indian heritage and Campbell is Caucasian. They are devoted to each other; so much so, that Campbell wears the traditional sari to please her husband, even when other modern East Indian women at their office party are wearing western dress.

No children are planned in their as yet young marriage, so when Campbell finds herself pregnant, major changes loom. Chand is not as thrilled as Campbell had hoped he would be, and the final straw, a possibly flawed baby, threatens to destroy this happy marriage.

I was drawn into the story by Ms Balawyder’s skillful development of her characters. I cared about them. I felt their joys and frustrations,  and empathized with their problems.

Don’t miss reading this heartwarming novel by Carol Balawyder. You can find it here: Just click amazon.

You will also find that Ms. Balawyder has written several other very entertaining books. Although they are inter-connected, they can easily be read as stand-alones. I know you’ll enjoy them all.

Carol Balawyder

 

Five Hot Books in One

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Watch this space for Emma Calin’s big event, the release of her fabulous collection of novellas, “The Love in a Hopeless Place Collection.” More information coming soon.

And yes, Emma does play the trombone.

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Author of #1 best selling Kindle romantic adventure:  Knockout! A Passionate Police Romance    

Author of #1 best selling Kindle short story: Sub Prime  &  The Chosen 
Blog: http://www.emmacalin.blogspot.com        Website: http://www.emmacalin.com         Twitter: @EmmaCalin        

The Restaurant @ The Mill

Today’s guest is the lovely Linn Halton from the UK. Welcome Linn.

Linns bookshelf

About the author: Linn writes contemporary women’s love stories that reflect life, the baggage we all carry around with us and the complexities of relationships. You are always guaranteed an uplifting ending that won’t disappoint and often a psychic twist that will make you stop and think… what if? Linn lives in the small village of Arlingham, in the UK.

Linn signed with US publishing house Sapphire Star Publishing in 2012; The Quintessential Gemini, a heart-warming romance was released in June 2012 and The Restaurant @ The Mill, a collection of life/love stories based around an old mill, was released in August 2012. Linn is a member of the Romantic Novelists’ Association.

linnbhalton

Linn’s links:

Website

Twitter: @LinnBHalton

Facebook: Linn B Halton

Amazon.co.uk (buy)

Amazon.com (buy)

Pinterest

A Loveahappyending Lifestyle feature editor

Signed by: http://www.sapphirestarpublishing.com/linnbhalton

Romantic Novelists’ Association page

 

It’s lovely to be here with you today Anneli. Wish it was in person as I would love to visit your very beautiful part of the world!

The mill featured on the cover

Setting is so very important when writing a novel and when I wrote The Restaurant @ The Mill it was crucial. The mill around which this novel is based is actually a composite of two existing buildings. Both are beautiful, old mills that have been preserved and retain a sense of atmosphere. One is a working water mill, which was one of the features in the book and allowed me to provide some accurate description. The other was a pin mill, and had a layout that would work if I were converting an old building into a restaurant. The composite building became very real to me. I could walk around it in my head and see it as if it were a place I had visited!

It was important though, as I wanted the readers to fall in love with what was essentially the heart of this book. I needed them to regard it as having an existence of its own; the characters were simply a transient part of the life of the old building. It is the restaurant that is the common theme, bringing together the stories of love at every stage in life – from newlyweds to a couple in their twilight years. Whilst the spirit of “Sarah” is a cameo role within the novel, she helps to gently remind the reader of the age of the building. She sees everything that is happening through the eyes of a Victorian mill owner’s wife, albeit a slightly confused and disorientated one at times. Her purpose was to bring a sense of generation and history, and a reminder that what was happening in the here and now was simply another passing phase in the life of the mill.

Some of the individual stories of the couples who dine there play out to a conclusion, some are a work in progress – in the same way that life itself is never “complete” because no one knows what tomorrow will bring.

My favourite restaurant is in a very old building in Nailsworth, Gloucestershire in the UK. When I sit there I can almost feel the presence of the past – I do hope that is what the readers take away from my story.

The Restaurant 3d

The Restaurant is not just about the owners, Hilary and Ben, but as “The Restaurant @ The Mill” thrives and comes alive with the conversations and emotions of people unconnected in their day-to-day lives, another five stories unfold. Only one thing is certain, life is an eternal struggle and that is the common thread, which ties us all together. Life, love, sadness and happiness….

The Restaurant @ The Mill; the owners, the staff and the customers – each of the six individual stories reflect a different set of life and love problems. One thing ties them together, they all frequent the Mill.

Is happiness guaranteed? Not necessarily, but when love fails it simply means it’s time to move on. Can young love survive when two people have been parted for most of their lives? Can a lonely man ever find the peace and true love he seeks? Will old wounds ever heal and can people learn to love again?

And then there is the spirit of a young woman named Sarah, who wanders the Mill looking for her beloved husband. Will she ever be able to rest? The Restaurant sees it all.

A Keeper

Vancouver Island morning

Vancouver Island morning

Andrea works at the wharf in Lund, on the mainland of British Columbia. She shares an apartment with Monique. The two women accompany Jim, a commercial fisherman, to help him get his boat home to Comox on Vancouver Island, because Jim has a bandage on his wrist and a patch over his eye from burns he sustained from melting zinc while working on his fishboat. After a weekend in Comox, the women return to Lund via the ferry, but sparks have already begun to fly between Jim and Andrea.

Commercial troller, traveling

Commercial troller, traveling

Excerpt from The Wind Weeps (Chapter 10 – Jim):

At the ferry terminal, Monique walked a short distance away so I could say goodbye to Andrea.

“Thanks for everything, Andrea. It was great having you over here.” I put my arms around her, being careful not to press too hard on my wrist, which still hurt like hell. But, somehow, I didn’t mind the pain while I was holding Andrea.

I buried my head in her hair. Fresh as a herb garden. I pulled back slightly to give her a kiss and her lips were already on mine. Our body language clicked perfectly. No awkward bumping of noses or clashing of teeth. It was all so easy and natural.

I trusted her and felt I could relax around her. She would never make me feel stupid if I said or did the wrong thing. She bolstered my self-confidence. No more shy guy. This girl was good for me.

“I’ve really enjoyed this weekend,” she said. “Thanks for having us over.” She lifted my bandaged wrist tenderly. “Be sure to look after this, won’t you? That was a nasty burn.”

“Don’t worry.  I’ll take care of it. I need it healed for fishing time. Maybe I’ll see you when I stop in at Lund on my way north in a few weeks?” I watched her expression carefully. She seemed to light up as if she liked the idea. Good. I’d hoped she would. “I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay. You’ve got Monique’s number, right?” She gave me a light kiss on the cheek. “I’d better run.” She looked over her shoulder. “The foot passengers are already boarding. Take care of yourself.” She picked up her overnight bag and hurried after Monique.

Turn around and let me get one more look at you. I watched as she crossed the parking lot towards the ferry. Almost there, she turned to give me one more wave. Her smile was genuine, natural, beautiful.

Driving home from the ferry terminal, her smile hovered in the front of my mind.  She had me chuckling to myself, as I replayed so many of our moments together. There was something easy and comfortable about being around Andrea. I didn’t feel I had to role-play and try to impress her or be on my guard about what I said or did. I could just be me. She had an innocent way about her, didn’t want or need impressing. I loved that about her.

So unlike Sarah. Most of that woman’s sentences started with “I.” When I went out with Sarah a couple of years ago, I thought she was pretty in an earthy way – the artsy type. But what a left-wing greenie. Nothing wrong with wanting what’s best for the earth, but most of her beliefs involved way too much theory. Great ideas, but in practice, forget it. They just didn’t work.

“Everybody has a right to have enough food,” she said.

“Well, of course, everyone has a right to it,” I agreed, “but sometimes circumstances prevent that from happening, and it doesn’t matter if you have a ‘right’ to it or not. If food’s not available, you don’t get it.”

“How can you be so hard-hearted?”

“I feel bad for starving people, but the reality is we can’t save everyone.”

Then she rolled her eyes and shook her head as if she couldn’t believe my lack of understanding. She walked away muttering something about the bigger picture.

I could have just snapped her up and married her. She’d look good on my arm. But how would we pass the time when we weren’t having sex? Yes, sex. It was just that. It wasn’t making love with her—you need more emotion for that.  But suppose we’d married and had the rest of our lives to spend together? I had a little taste of what that could be like when she deckhanded with me. There were hours sometimes when the fishing was slow and it would have been nice to have a conversation.

“What do you think is going to happen with this new Euro coin they’re trying to get all of Europe to use?” I asked her one day after hearing about it on the radio.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Who cares anyway? That’s way over in Europe. It’s got nothing to do with us.”

“Well, sure it does. It’s going to affect the whole world economy. It’ll probably have a trickle-down effect on the price of my fish.”

“Is that all you can think of? Money?! You’re just like all the rest of those capitalists.”

“How can you say that? It’s what feeds me and pays my bills. What’s wrong with that? And believe me, what happens in European markets will affect all of us here.”

“Oh I sincerely doubt it,” she said.  She blew out an exasperated sigh and picked up one of her paperbacks with the picture of lovers on the cover.

Not a deep thinker. I was disappointed in her. She looked good, worked hard when we were into fish, and was pleasant enough to be around, but something was definitely missing with her. She was all about herself in the here and now. Her only thoughts about the world at large echoed what her left-wing friends repeated. The only original ideas she had were in her artwork; never about practical things.

It just didn’t work for me. Fishing was a hands-on job. About as real as you could get. There was no room for a lot of idealism on a fishboat. If you had a tangle in the lines, you had to get it out fast and get that line fishing again. You couldn’t stand there and philosophize about how many chemicals went into making all that perlon and how it was ruining the environment. Sure I cared about the environment, but this was not the time to get out the placards and protest the use of polyester products in fishing lines.

“Did you know that wearing polyester underwear lowers your sperm count?” she said.

God, she was way out in left field.

“Mine’s cotton.” So there. For once I got the last word.

And now, a couple of years later, in spite of all Sarah’s earlier left wing green talk, it seems she’s turned into quite the little capitalist after all with her gift shop in Lund.

I pulled into my driveway, shaking off thoughts of Sarah and wondering why I ever had anything to do with her when I could have someone like Andrea. I would call tomorrow and make sure I didn’t let her slip away. Andrea was a keeper.

Will they someday sail off into the sunset?

Will they someday sail off into the sunset?

Andrea soon gets herself into a life and death situation. Read more about her in The Wind Weeps.

The Wind Weeps

Available in paperback and Kindle at amazon.com http://amzn.to/XQY4Wl

at amazon.co.uk  http://amzn.to/XQZG2i

and in all other e-reader formats at smashwords.com http://bit.ly/zO2Lm9

The Wind Weeps is also available at Chapters in Nanaimo, B.C.,

and at bookstores in Courtenay, B. C.