I followed her down the dark street, gradually closing distance between us. She glanced over her shoulder and her high heels tapped on the sidewalk faster. She’s getting nervous. I could tell from the way she leaned forward that she was hurrying to reach her car faster. It doesn’t matter. I was going to catch up to her in a few seconds and then she will be mine, all mine.
Hard to believe, but this jumble of verb tenses is similar to something I came across in a novel recently. I almost put it down in disgust, but I wanted to know what happened. Still, the poor writing took all the enjoyment out of reading this crime novel. The plot was good, but the delivery was not.
Most of the story was told in third person, past tense. The trouble started when the author switched to the killer’s POV and told us his thoughts in the first person. That, in itself is not so bad, but within these sections, when we see the story from the killer’s POV, the author slipped back and forth between the past and present tense in a way that did not work. It could have been done if we were made to believe that the killer is thinking in the present, and telling us about a past event, but that was not the case here. The author simply slipped back and forth between tenses haphazardly.
It told me that the author had not mastered the art of writing yet, and that he had not run his manuscript by a critiquing group, and certainly not a copy-editor, any of whom would have enlightened him. Even his greatest fan, Aunt Mary, would have noticed the errors in the changing of the tense.
When you write, why not have someone else read your first drafts and offer some suggestions? A critiquing group or even a writing buddy can be good for this. You don’t have to accept what these readers say, but it’s always a good idea to get a second opinion and ponder it. Of course I’m going to say, “If you’re serious about publishing, get yourself a good copy-editor,” because that is what I do, but really, having a clean manuscript before you publish is so important.
The book I’m reading now, which has so many problems with verb tense, is full of other small errors. Some are typos, and others are grammatical errors, but the verb tense problem was the icing on the cake. Although the author has some serious writing issues to resolve, this work was salvageable, if only he had not published too soon. As it is now, this novel will never be remembered as a great book. It could have been a good one, if he had taken the time to have someone read it over and point out the errors, and if he had hired a copy-editor to catch those many small mistakes along the way.
Self-publishing should not mean that the writer does it all himself, without the help of a critiquing group or a copy-editor. Yes, you can upload your ms and be your own publisher, but as a publisher you also need to deal with things like getting a professional to do your book cover and one to check your manuscript for errors before you bare your soul before the world of readers.
I’m certainly no expert, but why don’t these authors have their work checked out by someone like you, Anneli? I would.
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I think some authors are so desperate to publish they will do it at all costs to their reputation. I had one writer say to me, “I don’t care about the mistakes. I just want to be published.” I was horrified. That was like saying, “I just want to kill myself as a writer.”
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That’s a great analogy! I try to do my best as a photographer each day on my website, an author should care as much. Why are they so desparate?
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I guess they think they’ll be famous. Maybe they will – but for the wrong reasons.
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Wrong reasons indeed!
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I’ve switched from 3rd person pov in past tense to the author’s thoughts in present tense, but I changed to italics and used it sparingly. This type of self-published work you described is why self-published authors are often not taken seriously. Frustrating for the rest of us who work hard to get those bugs out.
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Or – to get out those bugs. 😏
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Exactly. As I said, it can be done, but it has to make sense and not confuse the reader about the past or the present. Having the author’s thoughts in the present and in italics works very well.
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That paragraph was so annoying! Thank you for explaining why.
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The whole book is full of horrible mistakes, but the story was not bad. Still, I will never buy another book by this author. I couldn’t go through that torture again. Such a shame.
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There’s a feel I get from well-written stories that transcends the plot. To me, it’s like flowing in the current down a river, calm but comforting. The jerkiness from bad phrasing and tense issues–like tree limbs in the river that I bounce off of. Me either–as far as never reading another book by the author.
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Yes! We are “on the same page.”
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Eek. That was hard to read. I wish writers knew how badly that impacts their reputations. I know that editing is a financial commitment and it may take some time to save up for the service, but there are critique groups and writing partners that can catch most of these errors. I frequently notice “tense” mistakes in books written in English by non-English speakers or edited by non-English speakers. That has to be a huge challenge.
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Yes, that thought crosses my mind too – are they native English speakers? But even if they are not, there is help out there. That sample I gave was paraphrased very roughly to give the idea. I wouldn’t use the actual quotes from the book in a negative way, but I wanted to show the basic problem with the writing. I wish it were rare to come across this kind of error with tenses, but it’s more common than we’d like to think.
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You’re right that there is help out there. And we all need the other set of eyes…. I can see that with my own work.
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And I with mine!
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Using verb tenses in a consistent way is important to any story length. Taking time to edit and re-edit is a place to start.
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I agree. It’s a basic writing skill that an author needs to master before thinking of publishing.
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These writers need your editing help! I have read a couple of novels that were wonderful except for the editing. I have had writers complain to me that they can’t or won’t spend money on an editor. That shows no care for the readers. It would be similar to a restaurant opening up and refusing to pay for silverware.
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And the restaurant is serving second class food. Obviously they don’t care if anyone will read another of their books if they don’t care what they are offering you. I understand that it’s expensive to pay for a copy-editor but if an author want to make a business of writing, it’s one of the expenses he should not cut corners on. Actually, if they knew the work copy-editors do, they’d realize that it isn’t too much pay at all, and well worth it if it saves the author from embarrassing himself and chasing away readers.
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I so agree with you. I don’t understand the philosophy that the writer can’t afford it. If the writer can’t afford to be kind to readers and put the best foot forward, why bother? She can certainly make more money doing almost anything else.
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I agree with you 100% Luanne.
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