Writing Styles – Part 5

Anneli Purchase

I’m Anneli Purchase. Today I’m doing my own part in “Writing Styles.”

My writing style challenges, to show description of character, setting, and a scene ending, are taken from my novel “Orion’s Gift.” It’s a drama that takes place on the Baja Peninsula of Mexico.

Character: This describes Shiree, ex-wife of main character Kevin when he visits her in a Mexican jail.

A wild-looking creature stumbled into the room. Her black hair was a tangled bush of knots and clumps of dirt. Two small eyes squinted through a swollen raccoon-like mask. Filthy clothes hung on her in shreds. Black, bare feet shuffled across the floor towards me. The pissy smell of her was hard to take. Involuntarily, I backed away, clutching at my nose. Who the hell was this? I called for a guard.

“Kevin?” The creature squinted at me, and came closer. She spoke through puffy lips that had several scabbed over splits.

Setting: Going to Cielito Lindo in Sylvia’s van.

Dust poofed up from each pothole my tires bumped through. It seeped into the van and settled on every surface. My eyes itched. I gasped for air, coughing out the thick dust only to inhale it again. I didn’t know whether to open the windows or keep them tightly closed. The van bounced along for a couple of miles like a bucking bronco even though I drove slowly. At last I saw the sea and knew I was close. Palapas barely bigger than beach umbrellas marked camping areas on the water side of the road. On the landward side, I checked in at the restaurant where a sign said, “Oficina.”

Scene Ending: Kevin speaking to Shiree at the jail.

“And if you forget to follow the rules, all I have to do is go to the police and lay attempted murder charges against you.”

“I won’t forget. I’ll never forget. Never.” She narrowed her eyes and one cheek muscle twitched.

I had all the concessions I wanted from her. Why did I still have the feeling that she’d won?

Orion's Gift

Available as paperback or as e-book at both of the links below. For synopses and reviews of Orion’s Gift as well as my other two novels, “The Wind Weeps,” and “Julia’s Violinist,” visit my website (link at the bottom of the page).

Amazon.com http://ow.ly/nyOz2 

Smashwords.com http://ow.ly/nyOEE 

www.anneli-purchase.com

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6 thoughts on “Writing Styles – Part 5

  1. Wow! Powerful, vivid and – eugh! – I’m a bit overcome by description of Shiree; I imagine in the context this encounter is very emotional, moving and dramatic.

    Like

  2. Well written and easy read! Love Shiree’s description. I could see the mexican jail. Going on a long trip, I will download the book.

    Like

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